Why?

Someone asked me the other day why I am so gung ho this time about losing weight. Normally I do it and while I care, I don't really put my whole into it. I just go with the diet flow. Whereas this time, I'm put myself into it. I'm hoping that's the difference. But I was asked why? Why now?

I'm a firm believer that we all have our breaking points. Sometimes you have to find out what it is. For some people its to look better, health reasons, to fit in the airplane seat (which I did do before mind you!), etc etc etc. But Ive never minded being heavy. Its not been a huge hindrance in my social life. Its not been a big deal with getting jobs. Its not been because of health, for a fat girl I'm doing well with that.

So why now? There are actually two major reasons that made me put my all into it, out myself into it. The first was a personal one, the second was def a in your face reasons. I was doing some cleaning in late March and I have a full length mirror in the hallway. I bent down to pick up something off the floor, Id guess cat hair, and just happened to look sideways into the mirror. I saw the stomach of a fat girl. Ya know the one where the stomach is so flabby and big it appears to actually hang down to the thighs or the knees. The stomach isn't in the middle. I saw that! Now I haven't been able to recreate it, but it was there. And I don't ever want to be one of those people that have a stomach that goes to her knees. It was very upsetting. For the first time in a very long time, I cried about my weight.

The second reason was a photo was taken of and a friend (yep see above). My face is HUGE. Not just a round face, but its just big. And I realized that I had been thinking in my head I wasn't nearly as big as I was in reality. While it didn't hit me nearly to the core as the first one, its still a concern. So this made my mind up. This made me realize that its now or never. If I don't do something about it now, I wont.